A Chat Over Coffee With Carrie Udeshi

Present

Carrie (C): You’re like dashing off stuff so quickly in your little mean black book; I hope it isn’t a quarter truth and three quarters rubbish! I mean it’s weird to see your pen constantly scribbling something while you’re staring at me!

Not-So-Nice Guy (N): Oh, don’t worry about that! I’d rather stay honest and go far like Eugenia Skeeter in The Help… You know, JK Rowling is like one of my biggest idols and she wrote this character in her Harry Potter books called Rita Skeeter who’d like make up false stories about people and try to defame them… She fell hard! I’m no Rita Skeeter…

C: Oh, that’s a relief!

N: You wouldn’t mind just a teaspoon of creativity though, would you? A little spice?

C: Well, we’re in India so okay, a teaspoon of tadka would do…

About forty five minutes earlier

N: (on the cell phone)… Can we please skip Chinese this time?… I’d love me some Gujarati thaali… Oh so thaali’s lame now?! I promise you’ll love the place I’ll take you this evening… Where? Welllll…

C: (whispers from the adjacent table) Govinda’s Restaurant serves awesome thaali…

N: Excuse me?

C: Govinda. It’s close to ISKON temple…

N: (on the phone) I am taking you to Govinda’s. Remember the name! Okay, bye… (to Carrie) Hey, thanks! You’re fond of Gujarati food?

C: Ever tried handvo? That’s absolutely delicious!

N:

You’ve lived here for some time?

C: Well, about 8… no, 7 1/2 years. My husband and I. We were like in Bombay for a couple of months until his job brought him here…

N: So you’re pretty much settled here.

C: I guess so. My Gujarati and Hindi are still pretty weak though… But my son’s got on really well.

N: Ah…

C: Yeah, he’s just four but you’d be amazed how fluently he speaks both Hindi as well as Gujarati… and English, of course…

N: May I know your name?

C: Carrie Udeshi.

N: Udeshi – that sounds like an Indian surname…

C: Yeah, my husband’s a Gujarati – a Kutchi actually. Oh, excuse me for a second (takes a call)

About seven minutes later

C: Hey, I didn’t get your name… Oh, sorry to disturb you.

N: Huh? Oh yeah, I’m Sashank.

C: Nice to meet you. Well, I think I better leave you with your work…

N: Oh no, please! I need you…

C: What?

N: I mean… I (how should I put this?) am a freelance journalist.

C: Oh!

N: Yeah, I write movie reviews for ourvadodara. It’s a local website that keeps giving updates on latest happenings in Vadodara. There’s a magazine and an FB page too…

C: I know ourvadodara. I follow the FB page. I remember they posted this article a week ago about a Japanese student studying at Fine Arts; that was pretty nice.

N: Well, I wrote that.

C: You did? Good job!

N: Thanks… Could I interview you for this week’s article?

C: What?! Okayyy….

N: I hastily wrote down a couple of questions while you were ahem, speaking on the phone.

C: Come over here. I’m ordering cappuccino. What about you?

N: Espresso. Regular.

C: (after placing the order) Barista’s coffee is always great… Okay, shoot your questions!

N: Your accent tells me you’re American?

C: Yeah, I’m from Florida.

N: And how did you and Mr. Udeshi meet?

C: Well, the two of us finished with our Masters and PHd from the same university. I was about thirty two then, so that’s like not too long ago. We decided to get married then and announced this to our parents.

N:How’d they respond?

C: I’ve always been a free spirit, so my parents didn’t mind at all. His parents were also happy, and now both our in-laws are like besties, so yay! Our group is really pretty diverse; dad’s Jewish, my mom’s Catholic and his parents are Kutchi. So they get along like a house on fire!

N: You’re very fortunate.

C: I really am. I know a friend here, non-Indian, who’s got a monster-in-law for a saas! I’ve met the mother-in-law – she’s one crazy woman!

N: You’ve helped people to get settled here?

C: Just too many of them. And really, Vadodara wasn’t an easy place to shift to until three years ago. I mean the quality of life has always been great, and the people have been friendly if guarded, but I really didn’t find it to be the cultural-rich city it boasted to be. Of course, things have improved.

N: You say people are friendly but guarded…

C: Yeah, and that makes it hard to know them. This may be due to cultural differences, but people here can come off as nosy sometimes. Like they ask about each other’s salaries just to know where they stand in the social hierarchy. Asking about other’s salaries in USA is similar to chatting about sex here – it’s too personal! I teach inter-cultural communications part-time at universities here so that maybe why I’m less shocked by all this.

N: Oh, so you must have some interesting stories on the tip of your tongue?

C: I shall never understand how arranged marriage works. I understand its part of tradition, but when I hear couples saying their marriage has been arranged, I simply can’t figure how love exists?… Yeah, another thing I’ve noticed, especially among non-Indians settled here, is that they want to give their maids equal status by asking them to take a chair instead of squatting on the floor and stuff. I appreciate that, but let the maids not feel too uncomfortable. I remember this friend who brought her maid to the pool and asked her to swim in her frigging salwars, and I’m like WHAT?!

N: There needs to be a balance.

C: It’s like that scene from the film The Help, remember the one in which the maids looked very shaky and uncomfortable when that reporter, Ms. Skeeter, treated them like her equals?… I don’t know, maybe it works ultimately… I think what happened in US in the sixties albeit with blacks and whites, and its happening here now.

N: What would you think will happen to India, and Vadodara, in ten years?

C: I can’t really say! It’s huge – this country, its population, its diversity, the opportunities, the peoples’ passion, and this year’s elections for sure. I love that India is such a vast democracy where we have 80% turnout at places like Kashmir. Our parties are fighting tooth and nail! BJP’s got strong agenda to fight against corruption, but I can never forget the times when even many of the young kids my son’s age had highly anti-Muslim attitudes. It was in 2007, only a couple of years after the horrible riots. Then there’s our current prime minister who’s just not saying anything. Kejriwal did show promise but really failed to live up to it. What makes me happy though is that more people want to stay here than dreaming of America and Europe. I want to stay here.

N: And what can bring about a change?

C: India needs to get itself clean in many ways. It needs to be corruption-free. There should be better civic sense among people. They should understand it isn’t right to throw garbage wherever they wish to. We also need Environment Protection Agencies to play a stronger role in reducing pollution. Citizens – men, women and children – should realize the importance of recycling. Our government should take care of its people, and the people as well should help by adhering to rules. Our rules have to be enforced promptly.

N: Ummm… I’ve broken one already!

C: What?

N: Well, I limit my interview sessions – planned or unplanned – to thirty minutes, and we’ve surpassed that. I need to use the restroom.

C: Sure. I’ll wait here. By the way, you haven’t touched that cup of coffee yet.

N: Looks like I got ‘carrie-d’ away by the interview… Ah, that was a stinker!

Back To Present

N: It’s been a pleasure chatting with you. I really appreciate your help.

C: Don’t mention it!

N: Ummm… could you send me a photo of yours? I never assumed I’d take an interview here so left my camera at home.

C: I’ll mail it to you… I guess I’d better leave now. My son must’ve arrived from school.

N: Yeah, alright. You’re taking the rickshaw?

C: No, I have a car.

N: Yeah, it’s better

to avoid travelling by auto. May charge you more assuming you’re…

C: That’s bullshit! I’ve lived here seven years and have rarely faced that problem. They’re pretty honest and respectful.

N: That surprises me!

C: I know a lot of people here. Many recognize me by face now. I always keep a smile and look open. They reciprocate.