Perfectionism or excellencism

– An article by Shivani Gadre

Indian societies have nurtured us to strive for perfection, due to which we tend to consider mistakes or flaws taboo. For instance, since childhood, we have been nurtured in such a way that there’s always a perfect timeline to live life. “Bavis pe degree, pacchis pe naukri, aur chabbis pe chokari..” Is this the perfect way for everyone to live life? If this timeline is not followed or someone is not living up to these insane expectations from our society, then they are failing and should be questioned about their achievements.

Why haven’t we nurtured in a way to pursue ‘excellencism’ rather than ‘perfectionism’? Achieving excellence in various aspects is a positive trait that has a great impact on our lives. Whereas perfectionism not only leads to long-term depression but is also counterproductive. Perfectionism ultimately results in poorer outcomes, unhappiness, and a sense of unfulfillment in life.

What is perfectionism?

It is being flawless no matter the situation. A trait or characteristic of personality to strive for flawlessness, being overly critical of one’s performance or achievements and setting extremely high standards of oneself. Due to this, individual is tended to achieve perfection in every aspect of life, be it work, relationships, personal goals and shaping self-image. Such individuals often have an intense desire to do everything without any kind of mistakes and seeking approval from others. Excessive self-criticism and overworking or overpreparing results in experiencing stress and anxiety at intense level and the fear of failure for not living up to the expectation of other’s and their own’s.

Various forms of perfectionism

Self-oriented perfectionism (setting high standards for oneself), other-oriented perfectionism (setting high standards for others), and socially prescribed perfectionism (believing that others expect perfection from oneself) are some forms of perfectionism. But it’s also important that pursuing excellence in life, is surely a positive trait one can harbor but obsessing over being perfect without in flaw can have negative impact mental well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Perfectionism at what cost?

Perfectionism is often associated with rigidity, fear of failure, procrastination, and self-doubt. It can hinder progress, creativity, and satisfaction as individuals may become overly focused on avoiding mistakes rather than embracing growth and learning from setbacks.

• Increased stress and anxiety: Individuals who pursue perfectionism puts immense pressure on themselves to achieve their exceptional high standards. Due to which, they often experience heightened stress and anxiety.
• Fear of failure: Perfectionists have an intense fear of failure. This fear can prevent them from taking risks, trying new things. The constant need for perfection creates a mindset where anything less than perfection is seen as a failure, increasing feelings of i inadequacy and disappointment.
• Self-criticism and low self-esteem: Perfectionists tend to be overly critical of themselves. They are quick to judge their own performance and achievements. Due to this, constant self-criticism, their self-esteem usually over time decreases, leading to the feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.
• Procrastination and avoidance: The fear of not meeting exceptional high standards, leads to procrastination and avoidance behavior. This can result in increased stress, missed opportunities, and a cycle of unproductive behavior.
• Negative impact on relationships: Perfectionism can also affect relationships. Having unrealistically high expectations of others can leading to disappointment and conflict. As any kind of imperfections are unacceptable, they struggle to exhibit acceptance.
• Burnout and exhaustion: Perfectionists may push themselves to the point of physical and mental exhaustion, neglecting self-care and healthy boundaries. The constant pressure and drive for perfection can drain their energy and impact overall well-being.

What’s more important, perfectionism or well-being?

It’s important to recognize the negative effects of perfectionism and take steps to manage it. Developing self-compassion, setting realistic goals, embracing imperfection, and seeking support from others can help individuals navigate the detrimental impact of perfectionism on their mental well-being and cultivate a healthier relationship with themselves and their accomplishments. Finding a balance between striving for personal growth and accepting that perfection is unattainable and counterproductive to one’s well-being and happiness is crucial.

Shifting from perfectionism to excellencism offers a healthier and more balanced approach, enabling individuals to reach their highest potential without compromising their well-being. As our understanding of perfectionism evolves, embracing excellence is a more rewarding path, nurturing personal growth and fulfillment while avoiding the negative consequences that arise from the relentless pursuit of unattainable perfection.